Trump Would Be a Horrible White Supremacist

many trumps

I had an idea for a comedy bit a while back, which I guess I’ll capture here. It goes something like this.

This is more humor than political, but if you like Trump you might want to look away.

(imagine a comedy club and a guy onstage)

I think Trump is triggering everyone accidentally. Like he’s even bad at that.

I think he’s such a psychopath that he’d be a horrible actual villain.

(uncomfortable laughs)

The guy has no actual beliefs! Or at least he can’t remember them from one meeting to another. He only cares about himself.

Like he’d be a horrible white supremacist. Like the Klan would come up to him and be like,

KLAN: Hey, you look like you’re signaling to us with all the white stuff, so you’re in right? (wink, wink)

And Trump would be like,

TRUMP: Oh yeah, 100%, all the whites, I’ve been saying that for years. Whites are the best!

And then when they meet in a week at the next meeting Trump shows up again and he brings Kanye.

(laughing)

And the racist guy pulls him aside and is like,

KLAN: Hey man, what the actual fuck? You bring a fucking Black guy to a Klan rally? What the fuck is wrong with you?

And without missing a breath, Trump says:

TRUMP: Yeah, but so look, everyone loves me, whites, Blacks, Kanye, everyone. Kanye’s very popular with whites you know, and he’s got a new album coming out. You guys should go to the show. I can get you tickets. Kanye’s a friend of mine. Going way back, before he was big. He’s a huge fan of mine.

Like he’s just fucking oblivious.

(laughing)

He’d be a horrible Satanist too.

SATANIST LEADER: What the fuck, you brought a bunch of Catholics to our animal ritual?

Trump smiling,

TRUMP: Look we all are into animals. I’ve been giving to animal events way before most people. Hey Christopher (pointing and calling over a guy in a priest outfit), come over here and meet my friend who does the animal stuff!

Anyway, a comedy idea explaining what I learned from the Bolton and Woodward books: Trump doesn’t care one bit about anything outside himself. Not religion, not friendship, not America.

They’re all just party themes he can employ to make himself richer, more popular, or both.


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